What are you doing this evening?
Twice a day, there’s a silent struggle at the mouth of the Cape Fear river as the incoming tide meets the outflowing river. The tide sometimes pushes the river all the way back to Wilmington, 15 miles upstream. In an hour or two, the tide drops and the Cape Fear resumes its course.
I visited Ft. Fisher on the Cape Fear yesterday at sunset. It was low tide, everything was quiet, peaceful for the moment…but in just a few hours, another battle would ensue. I thought this reminiscent of the unending seasons of struggle we all face. We are tied to the rhythms of creation more than we know, a bond that’s fast becoming lost in the mad rush of life.

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Life has been draining lately. I realized I hadnโt posted in over a month.
My middle daughter got married in the Tennessee mountains near Pigeon Forge last month, and helping to manage this from 400 miles away was a challenge.
Iโve been face-timing with my college buddy whoโs struggling with early-onset dementia. Seeing him struggle and hearing the little details from his wife is incredibly sad. Never saw this coming when we were 20 and flipping a frisbee around at Florida.
Today would have been Popโs 101st birthday and Iโm feeling the loss. His best friendโฆwho never had kids and became โUncle Eddieโโฆ made it to 101 before cashing out four months ago. Iโd call him now and then, and up until the very end he was driving his โ65 Mustang and living in the house he bought in the 1950s.
Finally, the coup de grรขceโฆmy youngest daughter got her first place and moved out. Sue and I are empty nesters. I walk past their old rooms, still filled with some of their stuff, and wonder how it all could have gone by so quickly.
Sigh. So after a little thought, I concluded the only thing to do was head for the beach with Sue, Jimmy Buffett, and faithful mutt Koda in tow. The lyrics from Jimmyโs Cowboy in the Jungle sorta summed it up:
Spinning around in circles
Living it day to day
And still twenty four hours, maybe sixty good years
It’s really not that long a stay
So tonightโs plan is to take my camera out onto the beach and take some long-exposure pix of the summer sky. Thereโs virtually zero light pollution to the south, and the summer constellations, Jupiter, Saturn, and the Milky Way are spectacular.
And after that, Iโll just spend some time with the One who made it allโฆseeking answers, peace, and a plan for moving on.
Because Jimmyโs right. Itโs not that long a stay.

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A wedding for your daughter is time-consuming and emotionally exhausting. And I’m very sorry about your friend’s dementia. I know that heartache. Sending a hug to you, Darryl.
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Aww. Thank you, my friend. That means a lot ๐โค๏ธ
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No it’s not. ๐๐ป Enjoy your time!
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Thanks, Michele ๐ If I get some good pix, Iโll post them. But just being alone on the beach under a vault of stars, with the swish-swish of waves, is reward enough ๐
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Iโve missed your posts, Darryl. Life sometimes gets in the way of our intentions. Thatโs what living is all about and it sounds like youโve figured out some strategies for coping with the changes. Thanks for stopping in to let your followers know that youโre ok.
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Thanks, Terry, Iโve thought now and then about posting, but none of the daily prompts registered and the creative well seemed dry. I should have at least posted a little something to let my WP friends know I was OK, but something always seemed to get in the way.
Thanks for your concern, and Iโm sorry for being off the radar for so long. ๐โค๏ธ
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It really does become a bit disorienting once the kids are gone from home and you retire. I find my days are more reacting to things that are happening to me or my family, then driving in a specific direction. I do miss sometimes the drive to accomplish whether itโs self induced or circumstantial. Ecclesiastes can be both insightful and sobering but lately a good reminder of how to think about the life weโve been given.
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Fearless, thanks so much for empathizing and the comment. Very insightful, I do feel a bit rudderless at the momentโฆjust going where the wind blows me. Ecclesiastes is a great point, โthereโs nothing new under the sun.โ Think Iโll refresh my memory on those gems.
Thanks again for reading and the kind remarks ๐
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I was just wondering today where youโd gone! Then here you are. Life can just be too much sometimes hey? Luckily these challenges are never permanent.
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Thanks, CJ. Youโre rightโฆ nothing lasts forever. Right now, Iโm fighting the incoming tide, but everything will eventually even out.
Thanks much for your kind concern ๐
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a perfect image to sum up the tidal cycles of life Darryl. thanks for sharing it.
congratulations to both of your daughters on their milestones. I wish them the best blessings on their exciting paths. and for you, sue and Koda as it is a milestone for y’all.
it’s quite daunting how these changes can seem so defining and to think, in the blink of an eye, you could just as well be back to a time when you think you had all the time in the world and you couldn’t fathom seismic shifts of that magnitude.
nevertheless, may joy abound and peace/safety be with you. Mike
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Mike, thanks so much for the insightful comment. Itโs remarkable how you precisely described how I feel today. But Iโm sure in time, Iโll adapt to the new norm and find ways to embrace it. I remember all the times when I was a newlywed, gathering at the old homestead with my brother and his wifeโฆthe cookouts, home movies, laughing with a few cold ones. I guess Iโm assuming Popโs mantle ๐
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Iโm glad to see you back, Darryl, Iโve missed your posts. Wow, a lot to deal with! Give yourself the grace to adjust to all these changes at your own pace. I was going to quote Jimmy back at you with a lyric from Slack Tide, but instead Iโm going with my absolute favorite Buffett song, that always gets me through: โdonโt try to explain it, just bow your head; breathe in, breathe out, move on.โ
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Thanks, Lynn! I didnโt realize how many caring friends I had on WPโฆIโm sorry for not posting even a little blip to let folks know I hadnโt fallen off the earth ๐
Excellent JB song selection! ๐ I was watching something recently about the Florida Keys and it got me thinking about all the times as a kid in the 70s weโd vacation there with a few other families. It was paradise, the clear water, snorkeling, fishing, playing on the docks under a full moon. Later, Sue and I would go camping there in our VW camper and that was fulfilling in another way, one Iโd never considered. Seems like life continually unfolds in unexpected ways and I think old age doesnโt set in until you can no longer find your way in the new normal. Kinda like surfing when you wipe outโฆ you donโt fight it, you just chill until the foam and sand and water subsides and (per JB) itโs โbubbles upโ time ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ
Thanks for your concern and the kind and thought-provoking comment ๐โค๏ธ
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Good to see you back, Darryl, and I’m so sorry that I didn’t notice sooner that you’d been missing lately. Life’s been very full at my end, although with mainly positive matters, in contrast to your own. I don’t mean your daughters’ happenings aren’t good, yet your happiness for them has to be tempered by your own sense of loss, which is natural after the length of time they’d occupied those rooms. I’m sorry too for the negative losses you’ve suffered, especially the heartbreak of watching your friend suffer dementia. I hope your mood will lift at some point, my friend. Thinking of you. Xxx
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Thanks, Laura. I appreciate your kind and supportive words, they mean a lot to me. ๐Glad to hear things are going well on your end, Iโll have to check out what Iโve missed the past month being MIA.
True about the girls, but two of them live close by and I try to see them at least weekly. And as a friend noted, I havenโt lost a daughter, Iโve gained a SIL, who is a really good guy. The wedding in the mountains was beautiful, a scenic vista and lots of stuff to do nearby. There were bears everywhere! ๐๐ฎ
The beach is working its usual magic, spirits lifting considerably. Hoping to have at least 1-2 good days of waves for surfingโฆ but any day at the beach is a good one! ๐
Thx again for the kind words and support, my friend. Hope you have a great rest of your week.
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You’re welcome, Darryl, I’m just sorry that I wasn’t there when I should have been. Life’s just too busy these days – we need time to stop and smell the roses. I’m glad you have the beach and the surf to help you wind down. The mountains and bears sound wonderful too! Take care of you and yours and I’ll try to be a better friend. xxx ๐
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Thanks, Nicki! Appreciate you reading and commenting ๐
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Lovely thoughts on the natural progression of life. I really enjoyed this.
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Thanks, Violet. Iโm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks much for reading and commenting ๐
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Welcome back, Darryl. It’s good to have you here ๐ซถ Wow, those are a lot of big changes. Give yourself grace to feel all the feelings. You’re smart to know who to look to for answers. I love your plan for tonight. Enjoy every minute. ๐ฉต
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๐ฅฒ Wow Lisa, thanks so much for those kind and insightful words. Iโm touched that you and so many other friends on WP noticed my absenceโฆI just went through a dry period. Thanks for reading my stuff and leaving such supportive words ๐โค๏ธ
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You’ve had a lot of ‘big things’ happening in a short space of time. Wedding, youngest moving out, birthday rememberences and maybe the biggest in a bunch of big stuff, your college friend moving into a world of his own. Because that, surely that, reminds us how fragile we all are. I want to be like Uncle Eddie, driving and living in my own place until I’m 101. But that’s not likely unless I beat the odds. We’ll see.
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Thanks, Dawn, really appreciate your support. It has been a turbulent time but itโll all sort itself out eventually. Uncle Eddie and Aunt Maryโฆ they were such kind people, itโs a shame they couldnโt have kids. Uncle Eddie was a phenom, waxing his cherry red pony until he suddenly passed in his sleep. Like you, I hope thatโs the plan for me ๐
Thanks again for reading and commenting โค๏ธ
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Beautiful photos and sounds like a very reflective space in your inner world.. ๐ป
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Thanks, Kerri! Appreciate you reading and the nice comment ๐ Itโs true, thereโs been a bit of introspection in the past month or two ๐ but itโll all settle out. It always does. But it helps to have such kind and understanding friends like I do on WP. Thanks again โค๏ธ
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Thank you for the link ๐
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Love this post.
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Thanks, David! Iโm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks much for reading and commenting ๐
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Far be it from me to infer too much, but it sounds like a rough go of things in your world if you are prone to reflective periods (and major changes and challenges even if you aren’t). We entered the empty nest world in recent weeks, so you have my sympathy with the disconcerting changes on that front, to say nothing of the grind I’m sure the wedding arrangements were, the challenges your friend is facing down, and the always present day to remember your Pops. I’ll be wishing you unexpected smiles and a few well-deserved cold ones that will find you at the right moment. Hang in there!
–Scott
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Scottโฆ brotherโฆ thanks for those kind and supportive words. Iโm sure things will eventually settle out like after you wipe out surfing, and you just wait until all is clear before resurfacing ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ
Iโm sorry you are going through the empty nest periodโฆitโs weird, the house is so quietโฆ I see things in the kidsโ rooms that we built together, paintings they made, books I read to them. But Iโm blessed that two of them live nearby. I suppose the Next Big Thing will be the arrival of Grandkids ๐
Thanks again for reading my post and responding with such a insightful comment ๐
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I’m told that millions and millions of other parents have successfully gotten through this transition, so I guess that means odds are on our side, right? ๐ So, thats good news.
My better half made the same comment about grandkids. As an impulsive, impatient pain in the you-know-what that’s worried about the house being quiet NOW, my feelings were not salved. ๐
Better enjoy the ‘me’ time while you can! Have a great weekend, Darryl!
–Scott
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I love your pictures! Thos area of NC is a hidden gem! Great story. Congratulations to you and your family about the wedding. I am sorry to hear about your friend. I hope you can spend time with him and enjoy his company.
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Thanks! Yes, this area really is a hidden treasureโฆthe ocean on one side and a mile away on the other side of the island, the Cape Fear River. You can take a 20-min ferry ride across to Southport, where theyโve filmed a lot of movies. The people here are so kind and coolโฆ this is my happy place ๐๐
Thanks again for reading and commenting โค๏ธ
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Many congratulations on the wedding of your daughter. You write so well that it teleports us straight to the place.
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Thank you! Iโm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks much for reading and the kind words ๐
I read your blog (couldnโt find a way to like or comment or I would have done both)โฆwow! Impressive! To up and move and leave most of your stuff behind and move to a faraway country is astonishingโฆ the kind of thing most people dream about, but never have the courage to do. Well done. I just think I would have HAD to take my photo albums even if I had to buy them their own plane seat ๐
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Thank you so much for the encouragement. Means a lot to me. And apologies for the glitch. Am technologically challenged so figuring it out of late.
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Congratulations to your daughter! ๐
Fort Fisher is beautiful!
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Thanks, CM! Agree, itโs a hidden gem. Love taking the ferry over to Southport. One of these days, Iโm going to take the one over to Bald Head Island ๐
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Wow! This is amazing! Iโve been to Southport before. It was a solo trip long ago before kids and everything else. I loved it! Iโve never been to Bald Head Island. Please share some photos.
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Beautiful. And sad. And thoughtful. And what a wonderful sunset!
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Thanks, Andrea! Glad you enjoyed it. Itโs a beautiful place in the world ๐
Thanks much for reading and commentingโฆ much appreciated! ๐
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Congrats to your daughter! Early onset dementia is tough. Oof. Hopefully his wife has help and heโs on something like namenda or aricept to take, depending on how he is and meds heโs on. Taking some time off to relax sounds like itโll be helpful. Hope you enjoy the day and have time to find answers.
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Thanks, Rojie, really appreciate the kind and supportive words. I think he is indeed on aricept as well as another one. Guess we never know whatโs around the corner ๐
Thanks again for reading and commenting ๐
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Beautiful photos! Well shared ๐
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Thanks, Priti! Iโm glad you liked it! Thanks so much for reading and commenting ๐
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Life is busy. It only gets busier the older you get. Friends and family always depend on the parents more as they get older, even while living independently. The type of dependence changes.
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Thatโs true! And all we can control is how we react to it.
Thanks for reading and the insightful commentโฆ appreciated! ๐
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Thatโs a lot packed into a condensed time. I understand feeling out of sorts. A mosaic of life stages between you, your kids and family that sits at sunset. Life seems to fly by so fast. Iโm feeling it, too, my friend.
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Thanks, GenXer. August was indeed a bit of a kaleidoscope. Iโm thinking of the wild orchestral parts of โA Day in the Life,โ where my footing was a little looser than comfortable on some days ๐ตโ๐ซ But itโs better now, the smoke is clearing and a week at the beach worked its usual magic ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ
Appreciate you reading and empathizing ๐
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๐๐ผ
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Perfectly encapsulated post filled with emotion and gratitude! I am learning that the transitions in life aren’t subtle even if they are momentous. Your picture and sentiments captured are breathtaking! Brilliantly beautiful ~ โค
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Awwwโฆ thanks, my friend. ๐โค๏ธ The sea had its usual restorative effect on me. Although there werenโt any good waves for surfing all week, I did catch a few fish surf casting behind the sand bar, visited two state parks, fell asleep in my sand chair with a book and took the long way home on back country roads, seeing all kinds of interesting stuff. And once again, Iโm back with my WP peeps, some of the most caring and creative people Iโve ever met. Thanks for reading and the kind words ๐
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Fuel for the stories to come! Sounds like manna (lol)! ๐ ~ โค
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For some reason this post puts me in mind of the beginning of the Dave Matthews song “Gravedigger”:
Cyrus Jones 1810 to 1913Made his great-grandchildren believeYou could live to a hundred and threeA hundred and three is forever when you’re just a little kidSo Cyrus Jones lived forever
But he actually didn’t, did he?
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Well WordPress screwed up the formatting of the lyrics but you get the idea.
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Thatโs a great song to go with this! Thanks for reading and the comment, despite the WP reformatting! ๐๐
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SO much going on, no wonder you skipped a few posts! Here’s hoping you come to love your empty nest! (it means you’ve done your job raising independent people!) Sending support, Linda xx
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Thanks, Linda! That means a lot. Weโre blessed that two of them live fairly close by, and the third about two hours. Thanks again for reading and the kind words ๐
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always a pleasure! L ๐
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