I got nuthin’

Family, Memories 27 comments

What are you doing this evening?

Don’t have a story today, nothing interesting or funny…just some reflections.

My dad woulda been 100 yesterday. A century. He had a pretty good run, 89 years, good health up until the last month or so. I was thinking about him, our relationship, how it evolved from childhood to the turbulent teen years, to grudging respect during college and finally, friendship. How he taught me so much. Having a beer together under the seagrape tree and comfortable silences, no words needed.

I’ve read some heartbreaking accounts here by writers who had horrible relationships with their dads… I’m sorry… it makes me appreciate what I had, but it makes the loss that much more profound, more visceral.

I tried to write a story for NTT… was gonna use the young woman on the throne as Queen Isabella…and the ships… and I was to be Christoper Columbus trying to talk her into sponsoring my expedition and the events of my trip. But the words just wouldn’t come, it was awful, garbage. Blecch.

I was thinking also about two good friends I lost in the past year… you know how with really old friends you have inside jokes, “keywords” that instantly trigger memories, your own language… when they die, it’s like you’re left holding all this stuff that no longer works, nobody else gets, you’re now the sole keeper of all that… Like you’re holding one end of a tin-can phone and the string is slack, the other end empty.

Sorry, everybody, for such a downer post. I know some of you get it.

But I’m sure this will pass and creativity will return… but today and maybe tomorrow, I’m just gonna reflect.

And wish I could have one more beer with Pop.

27 comments

    1. He was born in the roaring twenties, the only son of a Norwegian bricklayer… he had a 12-mile paper route, seven days a week, all kinds of weather… grew up in the depths of the Depression, house burned to the ground one night…that’s another story, how he came to his faith.

      He joined the Army Air Corps bc he loved to fly… at 19. he was a 1st lieutenant, flew the most sophisticated plane in the world, in charge of 10 other guys, no screwing around, life or death.

      He returned home on Christmas Eve, dropped off at the end of his street, carrying his duffle bag at 2 am, feet crunching in the snow. At the end of his street, in the living room window, a light was shining. It had been on the whole time he was gone, a beacon, a prayer, a little brass lamp he had made in shop class… which now shines in my window.

      He married his HS girl, went to college under the GI bill… like everything he did, he put his heart into it, graduated 4.0 with a mechanical engineering degree. He worked at IBM for 37 years…the same as me…he was one of the developers of the IBM card punch machine.

      He went in with some other guys, bought a Cessna, spent every hour he could flying or talking shop at our little podunk airport. He took us to the Florida Keys every summer, snorkeling, fishing, water skiing.

      Retired life was great, both his sons and our families getting together for cookouts, pool parties, 5 pm happy hour, get out the old 8mm home movies and roar with laughter at the Old Days. Me and him doing woodworking and sitting in sand chairs under a towering seagrape tree behind the house, talking about anything and everything.

      He was totally devoted to my mom. Had pix of her on Saipan, a pic in the cockpit for luck. After the war, he flew test aircraft over their crummy army housing in the CA desert, flying low, dipping his wings as she waved. They were married 63 years. She passed in her sleep at 85… for the next three years, he was only half there, a wan smile, lost, a little boy. When he passed, I gave the eulogy…hoo boy, that was a rough day.

      A remarkable guy, a great father, a faith-filled man. Who could ask for more 😎❤️

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      2. After I got out of the Navy, I went to work for IBM. They called us Customer Engineers; later, they changed it to Field Engineers. When I first went to work for them, I repaired punch card equipment. Working there changed me a lot.

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      6. It’s good that you have such great memories of your father, and not a bad thing that you’re taking time to reflect. It’s going to make you feel down, but that’s natural, given that it was such a huge loss, of such a great person. At some point you’ll feel better, in remembering the positive side, in that you did have such a great relationship, unlike the others you mention. He’s passed-away from you, for a time, but he’s with your mother, which is good for both of them, and they’re still with you, if unseen. Hope you feel better soon. 🙂

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      10. Thanks for sharing this. What a guy! You deserve to be proud. I have to grown children. One thinks I was a good mother. The other, not so much. You don’t get your report card for a long time.

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      11. Thanks for reading and the comments! I have three kids…I’ve never thought about it, but I guess we DO get graded, lol. Luckily for me, the term’s not over… and Christmas is coming up, should be able to up my grade by 1/2 point with some cool presents 😂

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  5. I too feel for those who had troubled relationships with one or both of their parents. Those of us who didn’t are truly blessed. Keep those memories alive, Darryl. They’ll comfort you and keep your Dad forever close.

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    1. Thanks 🫤 A week or two back, the prompt was “What would be the greatest gift someone could give you?” As I was scrolling through the responses, someone wrote “more time with my dad.” That would be so cool 😎

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