Love, actually

I stood in the middle of a circle of my fifth-grade buddies, holding a paper sack with sweaty hands. My buddies were egging me on. Fifteen feet away was a similar circle of fifth-grade girls encircling Suzanne Bowers, flanking her protectively. I could occasionally see Suzanne looking over.

My mission: Cross the fifteen-foot no man’s land, break through the protective screen and deliver the bag to the object of my affection. I gathered all my courage.

Hoo boy.

As a ten yo in fifth grade, girls and romance were not really on my radar. I was far more interested in trapping and taming wild animals, riding my bike, and building forts. Girls were there of course, and I occasionally interacted with them, but they were not really of interest. Most of my buddies felt the same.

I’m not entirely sure what precipitated the Great Going Steady craze, but one guy in our glass gave one girl a ring…and it was announced that “they were going steady.” This sent shockwaves through our class. What? What are the rest of us to do?

There was a day or two of nervous tension, with two sides lining up…like a Junior High dance in the gymnasium where the girls were on one side, and the boys on the other. Civics and math took a distant second to the electrified atmosphere of potential romance. No one knew what to expect.

Finally, the tension was broken when another boy broke ranks and gave a ring to another girl.

Our class was plunged into a chaotic race as boys rushed to find a girl and buy a ring. With startling swiftness, matches were made. The pool of available girls was drying up quickly.

I had always sort of liked Suzanne Bowers…she sat next to me and we talked quite a bit. The only issue was that she was one of the tallest girls in our class and several inches taller than me. But she was not yet taken and I needed to move swiftly.

That afternoon, I got my mom to drive to a store that sold stuff like posters, lava lamps and inexpensive jewelry. I stirred my finger through the ring bin and held one up. It was half of a fake plastic diamond glued to a gold plastic ring. Perfect, and a steal at $0.59…almost five bucks in today’s dollars. Suzanne deserved the very best.

It had gotten out that I was going to ask Suzanne to go steady and the next morning I found myself in the situation previously described. Gathering all my courage, I walked over and the protective screen parted. I looked at Suzanne and mumbled did she wanted to go steady? She said yes and in a move rivaling 007, wordlessly handed her the bag and retreated.

The girls’ circle closed up again and there were oohs and aahs as Suzanne tried on the ring. The bell rang and we all took our seats. Suzanne kept looking at her ring and me.

I was flummoxed. OK, we’re going steady. Now what?

The answer came when the bell rang for recess. Suzanne took my hand and we trailed slowly after the other kids. She stopped under a live oak and asked me if I wanted to kiss her.

I was in completely uncharted waters here, but sure…she came closer, our lips met…and hey! This ain’t bad! We spent the entire recess sitting in the shade of the tree talking and occasionally kissing.

I learned a lot of stuff about her, and by extension, girls. We had a lot in common and I found myself wondering how someone so cool could have been sitting next to me for three months and I never knew. The bell rang again; we stood, and this time, I reached for her hand. She smiled.

For a month, the Going Steady craze persisted and Suzanne and I got to know each other better. Our friendship and the first tendrils of romance began to grow. I found myself thinking about her. I quit wearing sneakers and wore a pair of boots with heels so we were about the same height. We talked on the phone.

But as fast as it began, it fell apart; first one couple announced they were splitting; then another; and a panicky series of breakups began. With sorrow, Suzanne handed me back my ring. I gave it back to her and told her to keep it. She smiled sadly.

I saw her off and on through Junior High, then High School, and of course by then I was taller than her. But we both were involved with school stuff and other kids and our romance was never rekindled.

But after our breakup, as I resumed setting my traps and riding my bike, I never forgot our kiss and the intriguing world of romance that awaited me someday.

I wonder if she does, too.